On a cold winter morning, I found my way to my office blocked by a huge crowd. I parked my car three blocks away and tried to get to my office by walking but could hardly make any headway through the crowd assembled for reasons I didn't understand. People of both sexes and all sizes and shapes milled around, and everyone jostled to get ahead.
Unlike the crowd assembled at the park across the street, it seemed to know what it wanted. There appeared no leader or any need for one, as everyone pushed to get ahead of others. It looked as if there were a sale of an immensely popular item at a throwaway price. Fortunately, the cops had arrived, organized the people to form a line and made way for me as I wasn't part of the crowd.
When I reached the foyer, I found a fresh sign board WEIGHT BANK next to our office. The new bank opened doors, and the first customer, an obese white woman of indeterminate age, made her way to the counter. As it was too bizarre to miss, I stood aside and watched the proceedings with interest.
"May I help you?" the man behind the counter asked the first customer.
"I want to give away forty pounds," she said.
"I'm sorry, it doesn't work that way. Either you give all or nothing," he said and asked the lady to step on a machine beside him. It was no ordinary scales but a new gizmo I had never seen before. When the customer mounted, it produced an eerie noise as if it were groaning under a heavy burden and flashed several LEDs in quick succession. Finally, the screen showed the body mass count and a figure of 62 pounds. "That will be six hundred and twenty dollars in cash," he said.
The lady produced her credit card, but the assistant returned it. "Terms cash," he said with finality. The lady, disappointed, left through the exit.
The second customer, an obese, Caucasian male paid up seven hundred fifty dollars, in hard cash, and went through a corridor shown by the assistant. As the third customer paid the cash, the second customer returned sporting a smile. On his way back, he preened in a line of full length mirrors and laughed to his heart's content. He looked totally different, slim and trim, devoid of any excess baggage but with clothes flapping like tents over him. He looked contented and sported a gigantic smile. Soon, the customers, one by one, paid the cash, followed the same route and returned after depositing their excess weight.
The bank had responded to the demand, opened new counters and served more customers. Those who paid cash shed their excess weight and left laughing their way out of the bank.
Next came a few thin, skinny customers of both sexes. They looked sheepish, but the bank officials assured them of quality service. The machine displayed the number of pounds they should buy to meet the body mass ratio. When they paid the cash, the staff directed them to separate cubicles depending on their sex, color or particular choice, if any. The skinny customers, equally satisfied, returned with added flesh and looked as smart as their counterparts served earlier. A few expressed doubt whether the body would accept the alien flesh, and the officials assured them of the state of the art biotechnology employed.
After watching a few satisfied customers, I left for my office where everyone was talking of nothing but the new bank and its roaring business. Although everyone praised the novel idea, a few wondered what the bank would do with all the flesh in its vaults.
"Don't forget it's a bank and cannot be trusted," Sam, my colleague, said.
"The CEO must have gotten a bonus of a few million already as his idea has worked," Jim, the cynic of our office, said.
"It'll also go the same way as other banks of the house of cards fragility and bust soon," Sam affirmed.
"Now the bank will sell its shares at a premium, and the public will lap up the issue. When the bank crashes it will take many shareholders down with it. You just wait and watch," Sam said with certitude.
The news captured the imagination of the obese people in the entire nation and everyone made a beeline to the bank, which immediately opened several branches across the country. Politicians of one hue hailed the bank for providing several jobs, and even the President complimented it in one of his speeches.
Thanks to the bank and the technology employed, everyone in the country, barring those who couldn't muster the cash, looked trim and happy. Men and women felt happy with their looks and their spouses and walked on air. Extra marital relations dropped to zero levels, and the divorce rate fell to the lowest in the world. People bickered less than before and greeted each other with ear to ear smiles. The vehicles, with reduced burden, moved faster, and the fuel consumption and carbon emissions reduced significantly. The country full of lean and contented people moved on smooth grooves. The story should have ended that everyone lived happily thereafter.
Alas it was not to be so.
The first to feel the pinch were the men who had no women other than their spouses to covet, for they all looked the same. The women who were attractive and reveled in the attention of others earlier felt as if they were robbed of their precious assets. Since the divorce rates fell drastically, many lawyers lost their briefs. The fast food joints and junk food diners found their cash registers silenced. Manufacturers of chocolates and assorted sweets saw a significant dip in their profits and laid off their workers. While the jobs increased in the weight bank, the other sectors showed significant levels of unemployment. Gyms, weight loss centers, health spas, yoga gurus, and dietitians, aerobic centers lost their clientele. Models faced stiff competition, and many lost their contracts. The garment industry, now forced to produce only size zero dresses suffered the most. Downsizing and redundancy became catch words among the affected populace. Commercial banks found their funds dwindling. The euphoria of trim and slim bodies didn't last long. Recession of a different kind hit the country.
The opposition grew in strength by day and protested against loss of business and jobs in many sectors.
One bright lady started a campaign decrying the zero size dresses and lack of curves in women. "What is a woman without curves?" she lamented on the national network and asked women to be 'bodylicious' a new word she coined, with the right amount of flesh in right places. The men, fed up handling women with anorexic bodies, took a fancy to the concept and the word and lent their support to the new campaign. They had nothing to hold, almost. The women too had an axe to grind, for they had no one to feel jealous of and gossip about.
Flesh was in fashion again.
After a few months, I found the way to my office blocked again with a crowd of protestors with placards which showed the bank's business had ruined their own. The owners of fast food diners, gyms, health spas, weight loss centers and yoga gurus spearheaded the movement against the weight bank. They shouted at full throat and abused the technology and the bank that ruined their livelihood. A large group of ladies running aerobic centers and dietitians made strident protests. The women in the rear wanted their flesh and curves back.
When the bank officials, fearing damage to their premises, called the cops, the protestors blocked the entrances to the bank and refused to budge until the bank downed its shutters. As their number swelled, the protestors shifted to a park on the other side of the street.
The media covering the protests in both parks is providing live coverage 24x7. Watch this space for further developments.
