La Bella Figura

As an Italian I have been plagued by something I could not name for most of my young life. But finally in 1986 while visiting Joe's cousins in San Francisco I was enlightened. So at age 34 I discovered the affliction I was challenged by was known as "La Bella Figura". Although the explanations to its' meaning might vary, loosely translated it is "the good impression"... in other words be your 'best' at all times, in all places and with all people.Conversely 'La Brutta Figura' envelops all of your wrongdoings. That's a lot of polite-ical pressure, particularly for a young person.
I can't place all the blame on my Mother. She merely inherited it from her Mother. It's a traditional set of values passed down from generation to generation without anyone realizing it. I swear there exists a 'Book of Proper' that never got translated. And I believe the essence of it is not about 'standing out' but rather 'not standing out'. In sharing this with friends, apparently it's not just the Italian culture that is ruled by such constraints.
Although I choose to live my life by the philosophy "I can do, say or wear anything I want as long as I am prepared to deal with the consequences" it has been an ongoing challenge. Here are just a few examples of the shackles I have struggled to free myself from since childhood...
"But I don't want to wear a dress. I'm not comfortable."
"You have to. Every other girl at the party will be wearing a dress and no daughter of mine will stick out by wearing slacks. Now just be a good girl and put the dress on."
"Did you get the invitation to the shower?"
"No and I hope I don't because I don't want to waste a perfectly good Sunday afternoon."
"Oh Carole don't talk like that. What if someone heard you?"
"You're going to the wedding aren't you?"
"No, I sent the reply back."
"But you'll send a gift right?"
"I wasn't going to. Why should I? I won't be there."
"It's only right. You don't want them to think you're cheap."
"Ah figlia, you better 'make a visit'. You don't want people to talk."
"Nona, who are these people you talk about? You never speak to anyone other than family. You rarely leave your apartment."
"Ah figlia... people, attsa it."
"Now why would you wear pink to the funeral home?"
"Ma, she was 95, it's a celebration."
"Oh I don't know. How's it going to look?"
"Tch, Carole did you have to say that?'
"Oh Ma relax I was just kidding."
"Well that wasn't nice. What if they thought you were serious? What will they think of you?"
"You're not going out wearing THAT are you?"
"Why? I like it."
"Well do what you want, I don't care. But I certainly wouldn't want to be seen looking like that."
And the finale of them all...
"Carole, can't you just try to be normal?"
"But Ma, it's just not as much fun."
I continue to deal with the fallout of my miscues.
In defense of my Mother and the fore mothers before her I admit I have been heard to say to my own children "can you please not draw negative attention to yourself?" Albeit, slightly abbreviated, the message rings of familiarity.
PS C'mon please admit it that you too contend with similar passages from the imaginary 'Book of Proper'. You do don't you? Please tell me. It will make me feel so much better ~!!~
Carole Bertuzzi Luciani
*speaker*author*blogger... to tickle your funny bone ~!!~
Her blogs 'Musings of the Moodivator' can be found at http://www.moodivator.ca/blog
For more info visit http://www.moodivator.ca/

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The Tingler Incident: A Boy's First Movie Adventure

I guess I was about 9 when "The Tingler" was showing on the big screen in my hometown. I have an aunt about six years older. She decided to take me to see this movie. Why she thought this was a good idea is beyond me. I had never been to a movie theatre or seen a scary movie and had no idea what to expect or how to act. I guess this was just another one of those learn as you go experiences.Two things happened, I did learn and I did go.
At the time "The Tingler" was made, there were not a whole lot of special effects so to make things more interesting, the managers of theaters had to be creative to make these low-budget movies scarier and attract more customers. I do not believe I was their target audience, quite the opposite, I believe my aunt, a teenager of about 15 at the time thought of me as her target to scare the daylights out of, and give her something to laugh about with her friends.
She was the aunt that had such a significant impact on my life as a babysitter. The one who punished us for misbehaving by making us stand with our nose in the corner as punishment. The only accomplishment of this punishment was to establish our growth rate by measuring the height of where the paint was worn away in the crack of the corner of the wall. I spent so much time with my nose in the corner I had to start wearing glasses when I was 8 years old.
Being so young, I was not expected to know better and looked forward to experiencing my first movie, but with this aunt's track record, I should have known better.
My aunt was not a malicious person, only inexperienced in learning my ways, and I do not believe she intended to cause me irreparable harm by simply taking me to a movie. Quite the contrary, today, scary movies are my favorite.
We arrived at the theater and took our seats on the end of the aisle. Or should I say, I took the aisle seat at my aunt's insistence. I should have suspected something was not right, but being the trusting soul that I am, I did not give it a second thought...at least that is until "The Tingler" appeared for the first time.
For you who have no clue what "The Tingler" was and to demonstrate the imaginative genius of film producers in the 50's, 'The Tingler' was a creature that feeds on fear, lives inside the human body and looks like a disgusting centipede. Really no imagination involved other than trying to devise a creature that was scary and believable. Did I say believable? I meant credible. The early movie creatures had to have a gimmick to make them seem real and a story line that movie goers could understand. This movie did not meet the basic qualification of a scary movie other than it was not meant for an impressionable 9-year old to see. I probably could have been alright with the movie if I had known what to expect. Of course, for my aunt to tell me what to expect would have ruined all her fun.
The movie was full of eerie music that built to a crescendo just as "The Tingler" appeared. At the same time, a totally unexpected event happened. My seat began to vibrate and move back and forth. The mind of a 9-year old already frightened by the music and "The Tingler," itself had reached its limit when the seat was set in motion. The theater management thought rigging the aisle seats to move at a specific time in the movie would heighten the effect of "The Tingler." They exceeded their greatest expectation when this little 9 year old jumped up and yelled as loud as he could, "I am out of here," and on that note, disrupted the entire theater trying to escape as fast as possible. There was just no way "The Tingler" was going to get this kid.
I was well on my way to escaping the theater when my aunt finally caught up to me. I think she was a little embarrassed and mad, because my reaction was not what she expected. As a stark raving lunatic, I was more believable than the actors and even "The Tingler" on the screen. You might say I succeeded where the movie failed. Yep, to this day, I think I stole the show and was the real star. My aunt would never recover and would eventually escape her embarrassment by joining the Air Force.
I would get to the point where I love horror movies and to this day, the only thing I look forward to is having her take me to another movie. I guess I will keep looking.
No matter what you write, someone will love it.
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The Happy Bus

When I was a young professional in Chicago, I worked in a small advertising agency. One day a secretary (who was usually grumpy in the morning) came to work smiling and humming. I looked quizically at her and she laughed, "I caught the Happy Bus this morning." I inquired as to what that was. "You don't know the Happy Bus?" she exclaimed, her eyes flying wide open. "Oh my gosh, it's legendary." She then explained, "One of the bus drivers who drives the 151 bus during morning rush hour calls his bus the Happy Bus, and he gets everybody in a good mood on their way to work...he is so cute and funny...today we had a group sing!" She went on to explain all the different narratives and tactics he used during his 5 AM to noon shift up and down Michigan Avenue, dealing with crabby, hungover and just plain unhappy commuters; and because there were dozens of number 151 buses, it was just good fortune if you happened to get on the Happy Bus on your way to work.Several years later, I was running very late for work one morning (I then worked up at the Hancock Building at the "top" of Michigan Avenue). It was starting to drizzle, and I still had five more blocks to walk, so when I saw a 151 bus heading my way, I flagged it down and hopped on board. Because it was almost empty, I sat in the front across from the driver, who was humming quietly. Pretty soon he heard me humming along with him, and he turned and exclaimed, "Let's sing a duet!" I laughed and agreed, so we sang a duet (complete with harmony) the last few blocks to the Hancock.
As he dropped me off, I thanked him for the music and started to step down, when I turned around and said, "Wait a minute...is this the Happy Bus?" He leaned his head back, gave a huge laugh and said, "One and Only, Young Lady...you come back when we're full and you'll have a real good time...I'm kind of plum tuckered out after six hours of driving my shift."
As I scurried through the drizzling rain and glided quickly through the revolving doors at the Hancock, I heard him honk the bus for me and he took off up the Mag Mile. I punched my floor in the elevator, smiling to myself, just knowing I was going to have a good day...and I of course was humming.
Author Dale Phillip enjoys living in a friendly universe. You can visit her at her website http://www.ourfriendlyuniverse.com/.

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The importance of the problems and the use of Chutzpah-my search for a Word

One of my many people with disabilities has been orally. The importance of the right to receive, often require, and the Word spelling dictionary assistance. I did not know, the search for a word in the dictionary would be a big deal.
Recently heard using the Word chutzpah speaker and wanted to check spelling and meaning. Pronouncing it guy is remembered clearly "hutspa and wanted to be, go to the page marked H. (I) my finger is placed in the Center, open the verification methods and stared a question mark regarding the page.
Now the first to the methods of analysis of doubt go up, to the left or right. If the h stand for (Q), in relation to the before or after? I chanted I learned the rote, nursery days alphabets. Learning, one forgets his ABCs page XYZs of note. Is unlikely to be learned, certainly, but forgot my ABCs XYZs. As a deleted dictionary pages for reasons beyond the control of and, I have never understood, thin back and forth, then considerable difficulties, for the purpose of the page up. Unfortunately, the ship was the h section H of the number of pages and had to recite the alphabet letters to come again, starting at page. INFINITIVES Scan these pages after I was convinced I had the wrong words, or the speaker had not been spelled the word correctly.
Thinking, it could be kutspa, I am searching for pages under but became a cropper, KU. When the word the way, I started scratching my head, again one of my many childhood habits, which continues to date and changed my search for the Word cutspa. Learned a lot of things about cats and spas but failed to make any progress my quest.
Unfortunately, my own "know all ' acclaimed lanko entered the scene. I like his cavalier intrusion when I had stress and suffering. Now in India, is a strange picture of lanko. He is the highest order, view the disdain and contempt for the late and allow a wide berth, when his sister was not around, but treated more than a normal courtesy. This courtesy is essential to maintain peace and tranquility of the surroundings in front of the home. Otherwise, the abbreviation for the brother-in-BILs, laws, is a loud mouth and without exception, in India. I have a sister, and I am sure that her husband would have a similar opinion of me.
Watching my travails, my BIL asked me, "you can find a little wound. Do you need help? " Although he requested that the reporting system, have Brushed him, but my wife came in with the coffee pot.
He was my problem after what appeared to the eternity, and came to the DRIFT of his counsel.
"You have the following options," he said, speaking as if he would advise the Prime Minister the Cabinet Secretary.
(a) you can do in order to facilitate the taper and thin fingers, turns to the pages easily
(b) to bring water to moisten with fingers often sponge
(c) to attach the tags entered in the dictionary pages of alphabet
(d) the Management Board, acting on the alphabet, uppercase, alphabetical order, in my workstation's on the front.
(e) you can change the dictionary and to one thick with pages
(f) to give up writing to avoid problems.
Closed my fingers with the bloodshed and the appeal does not to me. Buying a new dictionary with additional costs. I did not receive any fee, regardless of whether wrote. Instead, write the paying an annual subscription to this site, and your readers to read, and endure to the write stuff to pay dollars. May provide additional funds to my wife only as at the date of the trade from for cutting down-elixir.
I had some doubt, light sliver doubt my BIL was a minute speck tucked somewhere in his mysterious brain labyrinths wisdom. But shall cease to be a he had options for preventive my undoubtedly forever. I looked at my wife was not at the hearing and told him what to do in order to ensure his wisdom. He got the drift and retreated, but not before saying, "I thought wow to get you." What a nerve!
(I) the exemption huokaisivat and continued my quest and tried only to find myself in the online dictionary in a catch 22. Intended for the failed to correct spelling of the it is written. The spelling was known, I Wouldn't have gone to an online dictionary. I have to try to correct the spelling and Word for chutzpah, referred to in two weeks, there are significant.
My problems with the OED does not have the same type. I wanted to time to check the words "in order to be able to take heavy toll" means. I thought the word was heavy and moved my way on h.-page When the capitalized phrase stared me, I huokaisivat relief. Unfortunately, my relief was short lived, I found the introduction of me to go to the Word toll arrow.
Check the spelling of the pronunciation of English words thingamajig and baffles many people, in particular types of ESL.
To check the grammar of, there is no less important issue. Triani Wren and Martin grammar school, I was going to Simon and Schuster, after joining this site. Because this book layout differs from the fully use I had, I can see, first of all, the index and search for the word, that is to say, clear. Search for a word against the marked 10-15 pages and all pages refer. When you have read all of the pages, the more confused than when I started. Fortunately for me, the grammar book is thick and does not require the fingers closed. This is a plus point in American grammar, but why can't all the rules for the preposition use only in one place?
Is a different Cup of tea, style and syntax. Manual of style is a presentation of the heavy Tome Chicago baffling way. It is marked with the 7.6.144 and 8.7.62 as part of the law of the cross-reference. Index to four or five pages to find out how to write a Word, and nearly an hour, say, compulsive disorder is terminology.
I have yet to find out how to check the spelling of chutzpah and what it means. Any help is very appreciated.

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Laughing Is Good For Your Overall Health

Daily stresses in life cannot be avoided as we are surrounded by pressures everywhere like in school and the workplace. In order to unload some burdens and stresses, we can give ourselves a good laugh sometimes or more frequently. We usually hear the words that laughter is the best medicine. Well, this is true since laughter can ease the heavy emotions we are feeling. And one way for us to make ourselves feel better is to watch comedy films. A comedy film can truly entertain us. Humor is very critical in order to make us smile. Comedy is a very old genre of movie but this is still well-loved today.Comedy films come with lighthearted script and are made to entertain other people, thus they are successful at making people happy. People can watch different genres of comedy films including horror comedy, fantasy comedy, action comedy, romantic comedy and various others. All these fall in the same category and with the sole purpose of making people enjoy the movie, have a good laugh, and simply be entertained. However, in order to find out the best comedy movies, it is usually required that you step of the frequently traveled road and explore the unknown. There are various facets of humor besides the typical fun fare and slapstick.
Those who make funny movies are aware that they are in for a really challenging task to constantly create better quality of movie entertainment; otherwise, this demanding industry will not give acknowledge your efforts. One has to look at the many angles of the story and the slapstick part in order to outdo other films and ensure that viewers are left with a grin and find some of the parts, if not the whole movie, memorable. Tickling the funny bone can be done in many ways and because actions are easier to catch, this why the action comedy films are a favorite of the crowds.
Because people are taking life too seriously, there is a necessity to release the pressure and tension from daily doings. The better way to do so is to see life's funny side. Hence, it is a good thing to watch funny movies in order to make you feel good at life and at yourself. As you can observe, when you view films or hear stories with some humor, you get to forget your problems and when you are down, your spirit's lifted. That's what comedy films offer in our lives. And when we find a good comedy film that's great for the family, then this can be a good way to spend quality family time.
Comedy films allow the mind and body to relax. These are made to make us laugh and are often packed with action and excitement. Moreover, there are many health benefits offered by comedy films especially for those who are experiencing pain and depression. Other than that, there are those who believe that people who watch humorous films are less likely to develop any illness which is related to stress other than the control of conditions like blood pressure, cholesterol issues and stroke. People with health problems can somehow feel good through the comedy movies as they can get a good laugh and enjoy what they feel.

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They Sure Make Oakland Look Like Paradise!

Don't Visit The East Bay; It's OccupiedA few years ago my company sponsored a sales contest (back when companies were allowed to do business by selling things). It was a big deal. First prize was a week-long vacation in Hawaii. Second prize was a week in San Diego. Third prize was a week in Palm Springs. There was also a consolation prize for next-to-last place: a week in Oakland.
Last place got two weeks in Oakland.
Needless to say, I sat on my hands for the duration of the contest, because I wanted that fortnight in paradise! I really wished I could live in Oakland. Besides the obvious attractions of the crime rate and poverty level, Oakland was known to me and all students of public administration as one of the holy shrines of the "progressive" socialist movement.
Tell you what, Oakland, you're awesome. You got Jack London Square, down at the wharf, named after the seminal socialist writer and agitator from a century ago. You got the prominent grand experiments in social policy that made you such a pastoral wonderland in the 1960s. Of course, you got Jerry Brown, your far-left former mayor who's now the governor of your smooth-running state. And right next door? The People's Republic of Berkeley!
Of course, Oakland's a big city, so you're gonna see reports and news footage of the sort of occasional violence that's unavoidable in such places. Recent video has shown police in riot gear, Oakland citizens throwing rocks and bottles at cops and at each other, businesses being vandalized, property being damaged, and out-of-town visitors being savagely beaten by hordes of black-clad thugs.
But lately it's spread beyond the typical Raiders game. Protestors are actually perpetrating this sort of violence in the streets of Oakland, right downtown!
The purpose is obvious, of course. Oakland, like all cities in these tough economic times, is in heavy competition with other cities (not least among them their neighbors across the bay) for tourism dollars. They also want to attract new businesses to their city. They need that expanded tax base to fund things like football and protesting. So when the cameras are rolling, Oaklanders are out there showing off!
If you own a business, you definitely want to move it to Oakland. Or maybe you should just move there and start one! Risk your capital, build some wealth, get some folks off the unemployment rolls. Do all that in Oakland, and see what a warm welcome you'll get!
Sure, they have a little violence out there, but Oakland is still a socialist utopia in America. What you won't find there are any objective journalists, Tea Partiers, or humor writers ragging on the noble protestors or wagging their critical little fingers. After all, while conservatives are accustomed to sarcasm from everyone from Jon Stewart to "The Onion," leftists definitely cannot take a joke.
Sticks and stones? Never hurt anybody. But words? Those might just break your bones!
by Michael D. Hume, M.S.
Michael Hume is a speaker, writer, and consultant specializing in helping people maximize their potential and enjoy inspiring lives. As part of his inspirational leadership mission, he coaches executives and leaders in growing their personal sense of well-being through wealth creation and management, along with personal vitality.
Michael and his wife, Kathryn, divide their time between homes in California and Colorado. They are very proud of their offspring, who grew up to include a homemaker, a rock star, a service talent, and a television expert. Two grandchildren also warm their hearts! Visit Michael's web site at http://michaelhume.net/

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Reasons Why Laughter Is the Best Medicine

You must have heard since your childhood that "Laughter is the best medicine". But in the modern competitive world, man people hardly care about the saying and believe that laughter has no major role in their health. But such people do not realize that they are making a grave mistake until simple moments of life make them realize the same. Laughter has got a major role in maintaining good health including a healthy mind. Many believe that laughter only acts as a temporary source of happiness. But laughter not only provides us with a source of happiness but also keeps away many diseases. There are many diseases and adverse conditions such as stress, fatigue etc. where laughter works better than any actual medicine. Here are a few points to show how laughter is the best medicine:1. A recent study by cardiologists proved that a person who has a habit of laughing frequently has a lesser chance of facing a heart attack. Laughter might not be directly related to prevention of heart attack but it reduces mental stress. And mental stress results in impairment of the endothelium, the protective barrier lining our blood vessels. This in turn results in a series of reactions that result in building of fat and cholesterol in the arteries leading to heart attack. So, laughter indirectly also prevents heart attack.
2. Laughter decreases the chances of a stroke. This is because of the blood vessel expansion during laughing keeps away the possibility of stroke.
3. Laughing is believed to be a good cardio workout which increases flow of blood by about 22%. Watching a comedy movie resulting in a good dose of laughter is believed to give body the same effect provided during a 15-30 minutes workout.
4. The respiratory system acquires more air during laughter which is good for the body. This is due to the expansion of respiratory valves during laughter. It also helps our respiratory tract clean. Thus, laughter is a very good medicine for our breathing mechanism.
5. It is proved that laughing helps to control sugar level in the blood. So, if you have diabetes then try to enjoy life and laugh everyday. Because only medicines cannot control these sugar levels at times. Laughter and happiness have also been proven to helpful for diabetes patients.
6. It is believed that a stress free body will have less diseases. Laughing helps to create a stress free mind. It is said that there is no tension during laughter. And a relieved and stress free body results in a healthy body more often than not. So, it is not easy for diseases to affect a person who is happy and laughs everyday. So, laughter tends to be a cost free medicine for all kinds of ailments.
7. Laughter has no side effects for sure whereas all modern-day medicines have got some side effects. So, we can laugh without worrying about any harm caused to us. Laughter can never harm us but only help us all the time.
8. Laughter is also proven to enhance the facial beauty of a person. Laughter results in movements of the lips and the facial muscles. It has been observed that people who have a good sense of humor and who laugh everyday also have a beautiful face. Due to the amount of facial exercise in laughter there is good amount of blood circulation in the face resulting in a glowing face.
A happy mind leads to a happy body and soul. And there are hardly many things that can result in more happiness than a genuine dose of laughter. So, try to be happy and laugh every day of your life. It will release all the pressure and make this world a lot better place to live in for you as well as for others.
The author is a webmaster who loves fun and funny websites. He also owns ohmagif.com where he updated animated gif including but not limited to funny gif.

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