Is There Room in British Culture for Bizarro Fiction?

I was already writing what I eventually became to recognise as 'Bizarro Fiction' before I had even realised that there was a name, nay - an actual bona-fide literary genre for what I was creating. At the time of writing however "literature's equivalent to the cult section of the video store" is a largely American phenomenon. The term was adopted by Oregon based publishing house Eraserhead Press in 2005, and the movement has since grown to include a number of independent writers and even a yearly 'Bizarro Con' held over in the US. So, as a London based writer with really no connections to the Pacific Northwest- is there room in British culture for the genre of the weird?

So what is Bizarro?

'Bizarro Fiction' is basically a form of storytelling that is knowingly absurd, surreal and mixes humour with elements of pop-culture and satire. According to Rose O'Keefe of Eraserhead Press: "Basically if an audience enjoys a book or film primarily because of its weirdness, then it is Bizarro." Arguably the largest ingredient to Bizarro however, is a heady dose of humour and satire. It's not weirdness for weirdness sake; it's weirdness to entertain, and it seems to me that there is enormous potential for Bizarro Fiction here in the UK. Our unique 'Britishness', combined with a dry, ironic and often black sense of humour is absolute feeding ground for the Bizarro writer. Comedy acts such as the Monty Python gang and even the modern League of Gentlemen have created a British tradition for black, satirical humour, so why shouldn't this extend to literature?

Yes- perhaps Bizarro is not the most neatly crafted of fiction and it's not surprising that the majority of Bizarro Authors tend to self-publish and self-publicise their own work. I imagined approaching a British literary agent for example, who would probably grimace and twirl his/her handlebar moustache before ushering me quickly away- towards the nearest mental asylum. At the moment, Bizarro lingers somewhere on the periphery of the literary world; lying in wait until the world is ready for its particular brand of kooky, intelligent silliness. Brit magazine Dazed & Confused commented that "The bastard sons of William Burroughs and Dr. Seuss, the underground lit cult of the Bizarros are picking up where the cyberpunks left off." The literary world may not be ready, but the world better be ready, as just as Chick Lit tapped into the subconscious desires of easy-reading women Bizarro Fiction has the potential to tap into the irreverent whimsy of the bustling Indie market.

It's weird, it's wonderful, and you better be ready for it Britain, because really- you've harboured it all along.

Alexandra Kulup's first collection of short stories entitled Guffaw! is available to purchase on Amazon Kindle:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Guffaw-Anthology-Bizarro-Fiction-ebook/dp/B0067BDSD2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1322001120&sr=8-1

Please also see Alexandra's website for more information:

http://www.bizarrofiction.co.uk/

Or follow on twitter @misskulup @bizarro_fiction

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Asking for Help Could Save You From Your Underwear

Asking for help is contrary to our culture and our modern society. As a woman, I can struggle with pride and the whispering voices telling me "I must be self-sufficient". Imagine my horror as I found myself hopelessly tangled in my own underwear.

There I was standing alone in the bathroom. My dominant arm neatly bound in a cast and locked at a right angle. I had successfully completed the complicated effort of showering and I now tackled the new skill of getting dressed one-handed. I had facilitated this "season" of healing by investing in tank tops with built-in bras, since I refused to ask anyone for help fastening my traditional undergarments.

This was a brilliant solution to living without my very dominant right arm. Or so I thought.
I managed to get said tank top over my bad arm and slipped my head through the neck opening.
Honestly I don't know what went wrong.

In the blink of an eye my top had come to life and captured my only good arm- trapping me helplessly in my own "solution" to maintaining independence.

I hollered for help from my husband (who made matters worse by finding my predicament not only amusing, but irresistible as well).

In less than a minute I was freed from my own shirt and as angry as a disturbed wasps nest. My husband smiled, told me he loved me and wisely left me to relish the fruit of my efforts to maintain my self-sufficiency. Stupid me.

Lesson learned: it's best to see myself as I really am. Right now, I am temporarily disabled, yet surrounded by a family who is more than willing to help me through this time. The truth is that it takes humility to ask for and accept assistance. But considering the humiliating alternative, I will be much quicker to let others come alongside.

Life is funny. One day we walk around in full health and strength. Without warning we can find ourselves on our backs, stuck in bed, or bound by a sling. We can choose to go it alone and wind up like me- mummy wrapped and trapped by our own underwear. Or, we can recognize we are not perfect and ask for and accept help when necessary.

Learn from my mistake. Ask for help. Smile when it comes. Look for opportunities to assist others. And for Petes sake don't try to put on an athletic style shirt unless you have use of both hands!

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Humorous Speakers - The End Of The World Is At Hand, Maybe!

Well, maybe the end is near...and maybe it ain't. Fact is, nobody really knows. Surely not me. And I don't believe anybody else does either. I don't believe we're supposed to know.

Why, ever since Bible days, folks have been declaring that the last days are at hand. Didn't the Apostle Paul believe that he was living in the last days?

Seems like every time there's a major event somewhere in the world, fanatical folks start bellowing and squawking about he end of the world. They say it's prophecy. It's in The Bible.

You just let a volcano erupt some place and start spewing fire and brimstone...or a new comet appear off in the distant sky...and see what happens. It brings out the nut cases like buzzards to a road kill. Yes sir.

Now, I don't mean to cast doubt on what The Scriptures say. Not me. No sir. Who am I to go challenging stuff that was written thousands of years ago? After all, I weren't around in those days. If I was, I don't remember it.

I just try to keep my nose clean and worry about what's going on in my own life today. I get down on m knees and pray every morning for the Good Lord to help me make it through another one. I ask for His help. And I ask Him to put me in touch with somebody I can help. I try to leave my mark, in a positive way, on everybody I come in contact with.

I try not to complain, whine, bellyache, moan, groan, or sing the blues. I do my best to maintain a positive mental attitude at all times. I try to be honest in everything I do. I try to treat folks the way I want to be treated. I don't blame other folks for my own problems or setbacks.

I try to always give more than what I'm paid for. I thank folks for a job well done. I don't look to get something for nothing. I don't mind paying a fair price for the goods and services I receive.

I try to never lie, cheat or sass old folks (unless it's absolutely necessary).

What I'm trying to say is this: We really should live each and every day as if it actually is the last one...even thought it probably ain't!

Get FREE ACCESS to more Milton Crabapple humor at http://www.MiltonCrabapple.com. Book Milton to speak at your next banquet, convention or luncheon!

Get FREE ACCESS to more Milton Crabapple humor at http://www.miltoncrabapple.com/. One of America's funniest humorous speakers. Book Milton to speak at your next banquet, convention or luncheon!

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Funny Jokes And Humor Are One Of The Free Perks Of Life!

Humor is one of the things that makes the human race great. Jokes can cheer up the depressed, break the tension between people, can mend relationships and help dry tears. No matter who a person is talking to what kind of personality a person has, there will always be a way to make a person crack a smile. It is said that laughter is the best medicine, and that is one of the truest quotes ever recorded.

Finding jokes and remembering funny sayings are ways that a person can use humor to do a great number of things. While not everyone is able to throw out quick-witted remarks, anyone can remember simple jokes and sayings that can lighten the mood in a situation. Jokes, from one liners to fifteen minute stories, can be used to reach out to a variety of people. Sometimes a person can feel like they are in the dumps, their chips are down, and nothing will cheer them up. Sometimes all another person needs to do is throw a cheeky joke or comment in their general direction and a small miracle occurs. The person having a horrible day can start to lighten up a bit, and if they are receptive enough, a joke can turn a horrible day into a great day.

Where can a person go to find jokes or funny sayings? Well, a multitude of places. The best way to pass down jokes are through friends. An advantage of this is that usually, if a friend tells another friend a joke, that person can be pretty assured that the joke will go over well. Friends often have similar personality types, so this can go over well. In addition, people can find jokes and funny sayings in books sold online and in bookstores. Joke books are usually full of great and funny jokes, and if a joke had made it to a book, one can be assured it has run its course and has been tested over and over again. Lastly, the internet is a great resource for finding jokes. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of websites devoted to humor.

Making someone laugh can make someone's day. It's always in a person's best interest to have a few jokes in their repertoire. One never knows when a quick-witted comment can break the ice or cheer someone up who's been having an absolutely horrible day.

To get your fix of funny jokes online please visit this link!

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How to Make Good Funny Jokes

Writers are always advised, "Avoid Cliches". But cliches prove to be a highly desired and one of the most successful strategies in writing comedies. Cliches are quite often potential sources from where humour is derived. Some popular cliches can be directly made as captions accompanying cartoons. One can define a cliche as a predictable popular expression that has lost its freshness on account of overuse. Cliches are rampant in daily conversations amidst common people. Therefore it is very easy to understand them and relate them to various situations in life.

Element of suspense is a vital and the most important stimulant of laughter in the arena of comedy. Humorists make use of cliche to lead the listeners through what is familiar and predictable to something that is unexpected and surprising. This ends up creating a heap of laughter. There are some good examples to understand the use of cliche in jokes.

Word play is one of the most popularly established strategies for comedies. Cartoon strips, sketches, stand-ups and TV sit-coms very extensively make use of word-play technique. In fact, there are some words which are inherently funny. For instance, just the saying of words like "geezer", "fart" or "hippopotamus" can evoke a spurt of laughter.

Yet another type of comic effect can be created by mispelling, misunderstanding or mispronouncing words. In such techniques, the laughter is created by double meanings and the double entendre. In this way, manipulating words is a powerful technique in comedy writing. During many instances, words conjure up images that look funny and result in creating a good joke.

Humour can be crafted from various cliche tools including oxymorons, puns, similes, metaphors, bromides, jargons, aphorisms and malaprops in addition to some of the famous tiles of movies, songs and novels.

There is yet another popular word play technique in creating jokes known as taking the literal meaning of a figure of speech. This can also be called as the simple truth or the plain truth. For example, "call-me-a-taxi" joke is quite popular. Often we find children funny since they speak the truth and end up creating pure innocent humour.

Pun is one another type of cliché that can rather bring about a lower form of wit. Several humorists keep this technique on top of their list. Pun is easily understood and on account of its popular usage and wide association. Puns can give rise to lots of funny ideas. Therefore, unlike writers, humorists never look down upon clichés and make use of them innovatively and extensively to achieve humour.

Kevin Mary Anderson is a reputed writer about jokes and humor. His articles on Rajnikanth Jokes are famous among readers.

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How To Stay Alive During A Zombie Attack

First off, no one wants to die. Second, if you do die but notice you have somehow come back to life and have a strange hunger for human, then you probably are a zombie. Sad day for you. So, here is some advice for those who are worried about becoming a zombie.

If you have life insurance, check to see if your policy covers zombieism, and if so will your family be taken care of. Why would the need to be taken care of? Well, if you do die, your family has to pay for your funeral costs and everything only to have you rise from the dead, and probably destroying the beautiful casket that was picked out for you. Also, if you decide to quench your thirst of human blood by going to your significant other, chances are they will become a zombie. So, would your insurance cover relocation of your family to a zombie free zone? Or if you have kids, and both parents are zombies, the kids need to be covered in your policy as well.

For those who are wanting to stay alive during the apocalypse and don't want to die and come back as a zombie, here are some things you can do to help you stay alive. Run and or hide. If you know that your town or city has been infected, but the surrounding town is zombie free so far, you better be heading that way. Also, try and have a buddy. You can watch each other's backs and hopefully both of you never get bitten. If your partner does, end it quick. At some point or another you will probably have to kill a zombie that used to be one of your loved ones. Guess what, they are no longer that person, they are a zombie. Don't look into their eyes hoping that you will somehow find the person they used to be, that's how they get you.

When picking where you, your buddy, and possibly some other survivors will stay, pick a place that will have plenty of food, and not a lot of entrances. There are two things you need to do before settling in to your new abode for the next few months. You will want to find any zombies and kill them, and make sure they are deader than they were before. Also, block off all entrances and exits. You should board up glass as soon as possible, and then move on to the more secure entrances. Glass is an easy way for zombies to come in and enjoy a snack; the more secure areas may take time for zombies to figure out, so again, worry about glass first.

Now, if you do encounter a zombie and want to makes sure they are really down and out, the best way is to shoot their brains. This will normally kill them, so if you aren't sure, hit them twice and your should be good. If you run out of bullets and need to decapitate them, just be cautious, the head may still live and try to bite you. Oh, and speaking of biting, you may want to look for better skin protection then jeans and a t-shirt.

If you are wearing improper protection and are bitten, you are pretty much gone. You have a couple options now, not a lot, but a couple. You can ask your buddy or another survivor to kill you before you turn. This will prevent you from becoming a zombie. Another option is "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." That pretty much says it all. If you don't want to have someone kill you before you turn, hopefully the fact that you were a social butterfly in life will help you as you mingle among the undead.

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Classic Old Time Radio Comedy: Fibber McGee And Molly

Listening to radio programs from the yesteryear has become a surprisingly popular form of entertainment. Many of the old radio shows from the 1920s to the 1950s have even been adapted to play on the modern gadgets and gizmos we use today. In fact, like most other media formats, old time radio offers a wide selection for public consumption. Crowd favorites are the usual mystery, horror and suspense, thriller, drama and adventure genre. Of course, comedy was especially favored by the listeners of what has now become known as the golden age of radio.

The 1930's spawned many note-worthy programs that are still talked about to this day. However, one of the most famous sitcoms to grace the airwaves was none other than "Fibber McGee and Molly," which began airing on NBC Network April 16, 1935. When situational comedy is talked about, this infamous series immediately comes to mind and is said to be the spark that launched James "Jim" Jordan and Marian Driscoll to stardom.

The success of this syndicated serial was something like a slow burn. Unlike other hit old radio shows, the audience of Fibber McGee grew over the years. Perhaps what set the series apart from contemporaries of its time was the fact that it was a bright ray of sunlight in what was otherwise a bleak and dark moment in American history. The Depression blanketed the country with the after-effects of World War I and the lighthearted cheer that the McGee's of Wistful Vista exhibited as they went about their daily lives was a soothing balm to homes and households across America.

Jim and Marian relied heavily on their witty repartee to entertain their audience. It was not unusual that their listeners would end up doubled-over in laughter at the rib-tickling and guffaw-inducing antics delivered by the spunky cast. In the comedy genre, it's quite easy to fall into cliches and a repetitive routine. However, Fibber McGee successfully got away with such over-used plot devices through sheer bravado. In fact, one of the most notorious running gags they used was the "Hall Closet." Many an unsuspecting soul fell victim to the closet and was promptly buried under an avalanche of Fibber's things and no one was safe from the junk-filled monster. It became a standing joke in the McGee home and Fibber popularized the catch-phrase "I have to get that closet cleaned out one of these days." That ironic and self-derogatory remark delivered in an almost bored voice would leave the listeners in stitches.

Undoubtedly, the colorful characters living in Wistful Vista also helped drive the show's popularity. One of the most eccentric persons living in the village was a senior resident called "Old Timer." The gruff and cranky old man was portrayed by Bill Thompson. The comical situations he and Fibber would get into were made more absurd as he appeared to be arguing with someone who was deaf as a doorknob. Another character that he often interacted with was the haughty and self-styled aristocrat, Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve. He had a love-hate relationship with Fibber and their wordplay was akin to a verbal battle at times. Harold Peary portrayed the arrogant next-door neighbor so well that a spin-off program was created for the character. "The Great Gildersleeve" was another old time radio show that became popular during its time. Last but not least was the lovable and precocious little girl who followed Fibber around all the time. "Teeny" was also played by the charming Marian Driscoll. The former Vaudevillian actress had an amazing voice talent which was shown by the wide array of characters she played throughout the span of her career.

I'm a big fan of Old Time Radio.

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Groucho's "You Bet Your Life!" Quiz Show Is Now "You Bet Your Life You Need a Sense of Humor!"

Here he is (again), the one, the only, Groucho!

After being bored with the "afterlife', Groucho asked for and gets a "special dispensation" to return to earth "life". We become reaquainted with Groucho when he is being interviewed, by Baba Wawa (Gilda Radner's personification of Barbara Walters) about what "cloud life" was like. To the interviewers first question "How are you", Groucho responds: "I hate questions". Cloud "life", he tells Baba Wawa, is very practical. Instead of questions, everyone just speaks with emotional statements about how they feel about things. They only tell their emotions, instead of making judgments and bullying others, or themselves. This is, he tells Baba Wawa, paradise, with zero provocations! It is beyond utopia, or would be, if only there were others in cloud "life" that had a sense a humor, like Groucho. If anyone dares to bully someone else, or themself, in cloud "life", they bully right back by turning around any accusations about doing or saying anything wrong or incorrectly. "Instead of doing "that", "that" did me!" is often heard in cloud "life".

Cloud "life", for Groucho, was very similar to what Groucho required on his 1960's TV show "You Bet Your LIfe". On that show, if any contestant complained about anything, Groucho would ritualistically hold his cigar in his unique way, and say how grateful he was that he could still hear, even if it is just to hear a complaint. Groucho kept thin in the clouds, and still is connected to his cigar. The cigar now functions to keep the clouds puffy. Groucho avoided dieting because he was, and still remains motivated by laughing, instead of eating. When Groucho gained his wings, he lost all of his ego. He had little ego left to begin with in the first place, when he was in earth "life", because Groucho always was interested in making lots of room for his comedy to spread out across his personality, and Groucho wanted all the space that his ego took up in his personality to be filled in with his sense of humor.

Deceased since the 1970's, Groucho tells Baba Wawa that he spends his cloud "life" traipsing around the clouds, always looking to find others in cloud "life" who have a sense of humor. Other cloud "lifers" spend their cloud "life" looking for their sense of humor, and finding it hard to find it in any of the cloud "life" religions, etc., so Groucho is pleased to return among the earth "lifers" to seek out earth "lifers" that still have their sense of humor intact. So far the only earth "lifers" he has found that he can relate to are Bill Maher and Ellen Degeneres. They both, like Groucho, have the courage to face their fears, their emotional vulnerabilities. These two either do all their own comedy writing, and/or risk ad libbing everything. Ellen even dances unscripted and unpracticed, spontaneously!

Joining Groucho and Baba Wawa were Bill and Ellen. They all enjoyed an Italian welcome back dinner and Groucho paid attention to the smallest minutiae. For instance, Groucho was grateful that the grater was full of plentiful parmesan and romano cheese! George Fennemann, who also accompanied Groucho, looked eternally youthful, (also anorexic), and George picked at a few spaghetti strands, and a few grains of cheese and a drop of tomato sauce. George Fennemann let it be known that he wished Groucho would stop smoking and eating simultaneously. Groucho was adamant though, because Groucho felt an ethical responsibility to keep the clouds looking their best.

Groucho also informed the interviewer, that he, Groucho, was the very first to start the trend of doing things simultaneously. Groucho was the founder of the original subliminal comedy movement that involved the complex elements of multitasking. Groucho even asked BabaWawa if she knew that Groucho was the very first comedian to even attempt to get his audiences to laugh so hard that they also cried. Groucho did his "trademark" move with his cigar and said: "Laughing and crying simultaneuosly, now that's real multi-tasking!" He winked at Baba Wawa. All of a sudden a trumpet played and the Angel Gabriel appeared. The "Secret Word" card just floated in air while The Angel Gabriel played his trumpet, while also eating a piece of pizza.. The gold and platinum and titanium embossed card had the secret words "multi-tasking" on it. The print on the card weighed the card down, but the titanium made the card "lighter" than air, so the card with the words "multi-tasking" actually was floating.

The Angel Gabriel "paid" Groucho. Groucho had secretly always wanted to win that secret word himself, and he finally got his eternal, cloud monopoly "money". This prize "money" was limitless comedy "currency". Groucho knew that with this prize "money", he could start the Groucho Marx Flying in Place Comedy University. He could begin to teach others how to find their own lost sense of humor. Then Groucho could begin the process that he had been putting off for so long. Groucho could have some humorous company when he returned to cloud "life", because with the prize cloud "life" currency, Groucho would also provide cloud "life" scholarships, so those who were willing to spend their cloud "life" looking for their lost sense of humor, would now be provided with the newest cloud "life" tech tools. These tech tools would make it easier and quicker for the cloud "life" students to find their lost sense of humor. Thus, Groucho reasoned, he would be able to remain in cloud "life" instead of requesting more visits back to pre-post life.

There were so few humorous people TO visit back on earth anyway, and Bill Maher and Ellen Degeneres were swamped with requests, and they could only spend a small amount of time with Groucho! After eating and smoking, and flying, of course, at the same time, Groucho commented that he could see that Jay Leno had the right idea, especially about eating while standing up, because Jay was kind of multi-tasking, because by standing while eating, Jay Leno was assisting in his own digestion of his food. Groucho remarked to Baba Wawa that, pretty soon, Jay Leno would be doing more things simultaneously, too. Groucho took the credIt and said that he, Groucho, had planted subliminal seeds for the few authentic multi-taskers, like Bill Maher and Ellen Degeneris. Jay Leno was almost there, as was Ralph Nader and even Jessie Ventura!

Groucho felt he had to mention to Baba Wawa that handsome George Fennemann was as anorexic as ever, and Groucho wanted George to try, for once, to just enjoy his food instead of just enjoying his looks. Groucho was almost ready now to return to clould "life", because Groucho has been looking forward to his newest cloud "life"mission: Groucho explained to Baba Wawa, that he wanted to get started with his Groucho Marx Flying in Place Comedy University. The Comedy University students would learn to find their sense of humor, and, when they "graduated", namely when they found their sense of humor, they could play eternally! Groucho made a note to himself to recruit Dudley Moore for his first class of GM Flying In Place Comedy University's cloud "life" students, because Dudley Moore had a head start in finding his sense of humor when he acted, and did such a good job, in the original "Arthur-The Movie" with Liza Minnelli, when he was in earth "life". Groucho just felt, intuitively and instinctively, that Dudley Moore would make a great mentor for other GM Flying In Place Comedy University students.

Handsome George Fennemann was, of course, Groucho's "wing man" when both were on Earth "life". George's handsome features would have an appearance overflow effect, and he made Groucho look better than Groucho actually was. In addition to chiding Groucho about Groucho's incessant cigar smoking, George reminded Groucho about Groucho having to pay extra insurance on the set of "You Bet Your Life" because of those big cigars Groucho smoked. (I secretly hoped Baba Wawa would become a real investigative reporter for a change and dig into the possibility that there might have been corruption on "You Bet Your Life: namely that she might be curious to know whether Groucho ever gave undetectable hints to the contestats about the secret word.)

On his show, Groucho listened intensely to his contestant-guests for the slightest defensiveness in his guest's tone of voice. Groucho, finding even a fraction of an iota of defensiveness, would "be off to the races" with his ad libbing! All people, but especially "You Bet Your Life" contestants, had to be "on their toes", and everyone back then knew to avoid complaining and being ungrateful around Groucho. Instead of bullying his guests, though, for "ratings", Groucho always got great Nielsen ratings because he cared about pleasing his number one fan! His most important "audience" was himself! Laugh for yourself he would imply: "You are your most important audience"!

"Today...", Groucho said to Baba Wawa, "I take the expansion of the pool of possibilities for marriage candidates as a plus, because even though I am a celebrity, when it comes right down to it, I need as many marriage possibilities as I can get, what with my limitations, (not withstanding the song I recorded: "You Can Learn a Lot from Lydia") With my smoking, and being in cloud "life", it's hard to satisfy anyone with just my long distance subliminal comedy! I'd be willing to try all marriage variations. If I were to come back to earth "life" re-vivified, reincarnated, I would marry a guy, then divorce him, and marry a woman, then, divorce her, then I could get sex change surgery and start all over again as Gracie Marx! I might even want to marry myself, because after a sex change who knows what might happen, I might have all the equipment I need"! With that Baba Wawa had her "scoop". Visions of the headlines were running through her head: "Groucho, Still Funny After All These Years, But Selfish, Too!"

Before Groucho returned to cloud "life", he mentioned that, if he were to make a comeback, he would publicize the fact that "You Bet Your Life" was THE original Reality TV show. Groucho noted that PETA probably would find fault with his use of the bird delivering the secret word, even though it was a mechanical prop instead of a live bird., and/or the bird union would start a class action suit or something, unless Groucho joined 'The Birders". He thought he might replace the bird with the Angel Gabriel but that might upset some of the religious unions in cloud "life", and it might also upset some agnostics and atheists that were earth "lifers". Groucho thought about extending his visit "visa" on earth "life", to make a run at becoming President of the United States, and he even visualized himself reforming politics through humor. Groucho thought he even might stand a chance, (due to the good will still existing for him), if he ran a write-in campaign, but he decided to return to his GM Flying In Place Comedy University goal.

As he was leaving to return back to cloud "life", Groucho said he would plant a final subliminal seed in the mind of Baba Wawa. He wanted to influence her to write about his idea for a write in US Presential campaign for 2012. He hoped that voters would all, through Neural Linguistic Programming, or NLP, get a spontaneous idea to write themselves in for President of the US for 2012. Groucho surmised that write-in votes for Mickey Mouse as a candidate for President of the US resulted in other successful write-in campaigns. There was even a hopeful sign of a trend, when Bill Maher, without any announced, organized, write-in campaign, was "recruited", because he got many write in votes to be governor of NJ in 2008!

Perhaps there is still a possibility that these earth "lifers", Groucho mused, might wind up governing themselves! Stranger things have happened, like when Jessie Ventura shocked the country and the world, by showing that an Independent Party candidate, with only a relatively small amount of money, COULD become a Governor! "Maybe", Groucho continued thinking to himself, "I really did subliminally plant the seeds for others to want to tell the truth by using humor, when I was alive! I really hope that there are more than just the few comedians like Bill Maher and Ellen Degeneris who can find their absolute sense of humor by losing their ego! These two and maybe even more can be able to forget who they are, long enough to remember what a real sense of humor is! Bill and Ellen also know that a real sense of humor is worth more than all that PC nonsense of "belonging" and/or "connecting", "uniting" together as a typical nuclear family, or country, or any group, for that matter". Groucho and Bill Maher and Ellen Degeneres and a few other comics and or writers that write on the internet knew that you need to value your unique sense of humor absolutely, more than you value money, fame and/or power.

Maybe Groucho would agree that things are becoming too absurd today, when even corporations are legally considered persons! Now perhaps even corporations can get "married" and save on legal fees for M & A (mergers and aquisitions)! Groucho might say that are too few people, whether human beings or corporations that "know" anything much today, what with all the disinformation. Groucho always showed us how to avoid taking ourselves and our personalities too seriously. He taught us with his subtle humor to rely on our intuitions and instincts to laugh and his humor poked fun at family, country, gender, or any goup identity. Groucho was an equal opportunity insulter, he insulted everryone and anyone who took themselves of their group identity, their group stereotype, etc., too seriously. Groucho made us aware, or tried to, and was somewhat successful at making us aware that there are too few people that know and treasure their VALIDITY of knowing that when we settle for the status quo of conventional tradition, we wind up being in a puzzle that is always missing at least one important piece. That one piece is our own unique, essence, our absolutely funny sense of humor. Our comical part of our personalities too often gets bullied out of us when we unite together too seriously as a family, country, ethnicity, religion, gender race or any identity, or group. Groucho taught us through his mostly improvisational, spontaneous, ad libbing comedy that all social and cultural constructs need to be viewed through 3D type "glasses" of HUMOR! Otherwise we are all missing out on laughing about how seriously we take ourslves!

Groucho made his "last" stop (he flew direct instead of non stop) before returning to his cloud "life" by fluttering in a blimp-like hovering manuever over where he was buried. He detected his unobtrusively marked grave. Few, if any knew where Groucho was really buried! (Due to a very trustworthy publicist, that rarest of all rarities, almost everyone believed Groucho was buried in Hollywood.) His grave is under Alabama elephant tusks because in Alabama, the Tuscaloosa.

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In Defense Of Clowns - Jokers, Politicians and the Games They Play

Jokes, comparisons and cartoons of a political nature have been a staple of campaigns and party slogans in America for centuries. Recently, there appears to be a surge in the media suggesting similarities between politicians and clowns. As a circus clown I would like to take this opportunity to set a few things straight.

On his speech to a joint session of Congress on September 8th, 2011, even President Obama used the phrase "political circus." Yes, many parallels exist between the two groups but using derogatory references like "politician" when referring to my fellow clowns is offensive. Let us compare a traditional circus with national politics in order to get some bearings.

Our three branch government functions similarly to the well-organized three ring circus. That much is clear. Also, clowns and politicians are both adept at juggling, whether it be bowling pins, flaming torches, scandals or blocks of voters. There is even a book titled "The Congress of Clowns," a publication on political satire and theater in Russia, by author Joel Schechter. It's no wonder politicians attempt to associate themselves with clowns when Mr. Schechter refers to clowns as "intellectuals of the circus."

In addition, clowns use make-up and colorful wigs while politicians prefer hair plugs and spray-on tans. Both claim to be in it for the children but let's face it, everyone knows that we are all in it for the perks. Politicians have the benefit of tax-payer funded overseas congressional junkets while clowns have virtually unlimited access to a multitude of balloon animals.

Perhaps Congress could take a useful cue from clowns and rather than enacting recently proposed tax increases host instead a nationwide carnival to raise needed funds. It could include a dunking booth where, for a nominal fee, you can attempt to splash your local, state and national bureaucrats. Since losing almost twenty percent of my home value over the past few years it may be worth it for me to fly to Massachusetts for the opportunity to lob a few fastballs at Congressman Barney Frank while I still have the chance. Although to be honest with you I wouldn't aim for the button. Let's see how he likes being in an underwater position.

We could also raise additional funds by charging carnival goers to take short rides around the parking lot in the space shuttles since they are no longer being sent into space. One popular carnival game consists of guessing the number of gumballs contained within a large plastic container. We could put a new twist on that old favorite and truck in a complete copy of the IRS tax code. For a few dollars you can try to guess the correct number of pages contained within. My guess is 79,512.

Republicans could play pin the tail on the donkey using real democrats while democrats could set up a booth selling elephant ears decorated with republican caricatures. Representative Pelosi could even demonstrate her pole-vaulting skills that she touted during the healthcare debate.

In ages past, court jesters were sometimes referred to as a fool, dolt or halfwit. Even this tradition has been infringed upon in the halls of Congress. It has been suggested that two halfwits make a whole wit, hence the prolific presence of so many political committees. But recalling those beloved fraction worksheets from seventh grade math you will remember that a halfwit times a halfwit produces a fourth of a wit. Interestingly enough, when you multiply out that denominator times the 535 members of Congress it comes out to the fraction one over fifteen trillion. That total just happens to mirror the current national debt. Coincidence? I don't think so.

These and many other parallels exist inferring equivalence between clowns and politicians yet irreconcilable variances remain. Don't be fooled by animated imitations. For instance, when was the last time you saw a real clown wearing a five thousand dollar suit or a politician spending their own money? In these difficult times we could all use some comic relief but that is still no reason to be insulting. Clown on.

Todd Lester's career has spanned across many years and numerous industries. He has been registered with the Securities and Exchange Commission and licensed to sell investments and insurance, worked as a retail manager, turned wrenches as an automotive mechanic, served cubicle time as an office manager and even owned his own business for many years restoring car interiors. And that is just since graduating college with a Finance degree. During much of this time, he was also a citizen soldier, serving twenty one years in the Army National Guards of both Louisiana and Texas as an Army bandsman. He has even performed as a clown with the Shrine Circus.

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Dickens love "Broncos Carol"

Can Tiny Tim Tebow Keep lead 'em Victory?

Ol ' Broncos was dead as a doornail, dead. This is a clear (and 1-4, believe me, it was clearly understood), or anything special about this can be regarded as what follows.

John Elway had visited the spirit, who appeared to be a lot of Dan Reeves, who (although not technically dead) was one of the business partner-large long term, which seems to last the life of the people (1980). "You had visited the three spirits," Reeves told Elway "and it is one of hope and the chance of redemption."

Elway humbugged, but soon he was a second life, this one and grin and ambling gait, and stark resemblance to himself in the presence of the younger man. "I am the last Rays of life," it said. "Believe in miracles? For crying out loud, badly lost four Super Bowls, then had the tendon must be removed, then won two bicep! "

Humbug Elway grumped. He said he was still only See true NFL-long, averaging out the uniform life ... these days, and he tries to run the company, after all. Spirit made some passing attempts to try that Obama's America, but then he was zaniness in the past, and stood before his second apparition, which appeared to be a Tiny Tim fearsome Tebow as in the world. It was present at the Broncos.

Elway watched as the Group of six or seven, led by BP (G) it is impossible to come from behind WINS in as many weeks. "Remind anyone?" people asked. Elway humbugged again and the spirit said, "well, do I need to thank the Lord and for the exchange of culture and the Savior, Jesus Christ." But Elway could only mumble "WWJD" marveling unto himself, which would Jesus draft it?

Soon the silent ghost appeared to Tiny Tim's draft day and place of Elway found himself averaging out the "war room" sits. Life seemed a little Andrew luck, Robert Griffin III and Landry Jones. But it took a bit of the Management Board, and then poof! unearthly screech The spirit was gone before Elway could be to establish what happens. Elway "cold Sweat" I woke up, found religion and practical use of the third share. "I think now!" he exclaimed. "Tiny Tim is included in all of the miraculous, come back to life-Broncos past, present and future! May God forgive you have wasted time. "

Tiny Tim, who had been traded, Elway became a good friend, as good a mentor and good as football operations VP as a good ol' Broncos never knew. And it was always said to him, that he knew how to appreciate life's blessings, if all of the long-term knowledge of the feed lot. Let this really said all of us! So, such as Tiny Tim points out, every time the camera on him, "God bless us, everyone."

Michael Hume is a speaker, author and consultant specializing in that Maximize their potential and enjoy the inspiring life. As part of his trip to the targets of the operation he coaches managers and leaders of the leadership of the growing welfare, prosperity and personal management, personal vitality of this emotion.

Michael and his wife, Kathryn, split their time between homes in California and Colorado. They are very proud of their offspring, which increased by homemaker, Rock Star, talent and TV expert. Two grandchildren also warm their hearts! Michael's web site at http://michaelhume.net

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Funny Jokes and Quotes - Providing Laughter and Bonding For As Long As Anyone Can Remember!

One thing that everyone, regardless of language, culture, race, age, gender, etc, has in common is that everyone loves a good joke. This is a universal truth that spans from one side of the earth to the other. Hearing a good joke from time to time definitely soothes one's soul. People know jokes of all kind, from squeaky clean one liners to dirty jokes that are so long they qualify as narratives and everything in between.

Some people don't realize how important having a sense of humor truly is. A person with a sense of humor is usually one of the most revered people in a group of friends. Most people that have a good sense of humor will be able to use it to increase their circle of influence by quite a bit. From telling jokes to strangers to break the ice, to entertaining a group of friends that have known each other for years, a person with a sense of humor can usually be the center of attention at any gathering.

Even if a person doesn't have an amazing wit, a ton of charm, or a natural ability to entertain, they can usually find a joke appropriate for pretty much any situation. If that person remembers those jokes and works on adding them to his or her repertoire, that person can use those jokes to build, over time, an ability to show people that he/she does have a sense of humor.

Where can a person go to find jokes to add to his or her collection? Well, there are many places all over. The best source of comedy is hands down the internet. Almost any joke that's been funny enough to be remembered is archived somewhere online. There are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of websites devoted to the retelling of peoples' favorite jokes. These are often sorted by category, length, or any other of a large variety of formats.

In addition to the internet, there are hundreds of books comprised of nothing but jokes. Sometimes a person can read through entire joke books without finding new information, but there are still some gems out there for someone looking for comedy.

Lastly, a great resource for people to gather jokes is that person's network of friends. Never underestimate a person's ability to remember a good joke. Some of the best jokes are jokes told from friends to other friends, and the beautiful thing about a joke borrowed from a friend is that it is already field tested by people with a similar sense of humor.

Go to this funny quotes website and start your day with a laugh!

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Anti-Paparazzi VTOL Drones Considered

Obviously the rich and famous have a love-hate relationship with the paparazzi. You see, the famous folks need the media attention to propel their fame, but also want privacy, thus, causing a severe case of "catch-22" in their professional and personal lives. Recently, our think tank began to consider all this and determined that their just might be a way to fix this challenge, so let's take a future look at some of the solutions to this, shall we?

First, we contemplated the use of VTOL (Vertical Take-Off-and-Landing) UAVs (Unmanned Aerial Vehicles) which could go and grab paparazzi model helicopter platform micro-air-vehicles or MAVs and retrieve them and commandeer them for trespassing on the famous person's personal privacy and airspace. In other words, a larger UAV would take grab the smaller MAV owned by the paparazzi just as a falcon captures other birds in mid-flight. Once the MAV was taken prisoner, the paparazzi would be out significant dollars, film, hardware, thus, would think twice next time.

Another option would be to have a VTOL MAV owned by the token rich and famous person which would come in close and take the picture of the paparazzi following them to hand over to police - for instance it would take their pictures and match their face up with Facebook's "FRT" or Facial Recognition Technologies. Meaning the paparazzi was now the victim and not the famous person. That may or may not fly in court, but it was at least one thought.

An even more intriguing concept was discussed at our think tank, whereby, a very large VTOL UAV would just grab the paparazzi and pick them up, and drop them off somewhere. For instance if they are in Malibu, drop them off into the Malibu Lagoon, or take them 100-yards out in the surf and let them go about 35 feet above the water - fully clothed, with camera gear. Their electronics would be toast, and if they are using regular film, it would be ruined by the salt water as well.

"All is fair in love and war" as they say - and since the paparazzi know no bounds, why should the wealthy folks play by the standard rules of society either? Now for the more expensive part of this equation; namely the cost of drones - a large UAV that could pick up and over power a human would have to be large and strong like a Prehistoric Pterodactyl, and well, that could run almost a million dollars or more for the robotic version, as it would need all of those sensors as to not injure the person when it grabs them and drops them off.

A rich and famous person could afford this, of course for that kind of money one could just double the pay of the paparazzi so they would leave them alone or hire a bodyguard to chase them down, and make a citizen's arrest. The small UAVs could easily run under $40,000 and suffice, as stated above. Thus, there are many options available still, so please consider all this.

Lance Winslow has launched a new provocative series of eBooks on Future Concepts. Lance Winslow is a retired Founder of a Nationwide Franchise Chain, and now runs the Online Think Tank; http://www.worldthinktank.net/

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A Brief Overview On Celebrity Roasts

A roast is an event in which people gather together to honor someone. This is typically a party or gathering where people toast the honoree by sharing some insight or anecdote about them. This can be a humorous story or joke, or can be more personal. A roast is usually put on to commemorate an event or anniversary. Retirement is one event that seems to inspire a lot of roasts. Wedding anniversaries can be another. Whatever the reason, it is a chance for friends and family to get together and share memories. A good roast can be a fun time for all.

Roasts like this can be traced back to ancient times, when it was customary to give long winded speeches before meals. Back then any occasion seemed a good occasion to raise a glass and make a speech. Since then the tradition has evolved to what we can now see on Comedy Central.

Roasts have become a tradition in places like the New York Friar's Club. The Friar's Club has been holding celebrity roasts since the early nineteen hundreds. This used to be quite an exclusive and private affair. It is only recently the Friar's Club decided to start televising some of their roasts. Some of the more private parties that have been held there have been deemed too graphic for television.

Comedy Central brought the idea of celebrity roasts back to the public eye. What had been a largely private and mostly forgotten tradition received a new lease on life when the comedy network aired several celebrity roasts from the Friar's club. These shows were very popular with the public. These shows have featured people like Jeff Foxworthy, Pamela Anderson, and Donald Trump to name a few. Needless to say the Anderson episode was the most watched for its time slot when it aired.

Comedy Central wasn't the first network to do this. Dean Martin hosted several celebrity roasts as part of show in the seventies. After that the network hosted several more in the MGM Hotel in Las Vegas. The idea in itself was novel, but the morals of the day led to some pretty lame and restrictive humor. As a result the public got bored and stopped watching eventually.

There are still celebrity roasts held at the Friar's Club on a regular basis. Comedy Central still sometimes airs these, other times they have held their own. Some other popular people featured on these shows have been Joan Rivers, William Shatner, Chevy Chase, Hugh Hefner and Charlie Sheen. There is also a British spin-off show that is catching on over there. It can be interesting and definitely humorous to see how you look through the eyes of other people.

Calvin James is the author of this article on Stand up Comedy.
Find more information, about Stand up Comedy here.

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How to Find the Perfect Motivational Poster

There are thousands of motivational posters on the market, and each one motivates people in a different way. So, how to find the perfect motivational poster? Some posters lift you up, inspire you, remind you of your dreams and ambitions and hail the values you hold as an individual. Humorous posters help to lift you up when you're down and shed some lightness on otherwise serious situations. Every person is motivated in a different way, so first determine what gets you going when you're feeling down. Then search for a poster that makes you feel the way you want to feel.

Determine the value you most want to emulate. Then search for a poster that articulates that value. Goals are another idea for motivational posters. Do you want to achieve a higher level in your job? Are you working toward greater financial success? Are you trying to master a skill, such as golf? Identify the message that best articulates what you're striving for, then select one of the many available posters that speaks that message in a positive, pleasant way for you.

Both the photograph and the message on the poster serve to motivate. For messages of power, natural scenes of waterfalls, mountains and predators are effective. For attitude, serene photos of lakes, the forest and sunrises help motivate many people. Some people are more motivated by laughter and irony, and many posters help lift spirits and get you going with a picture of something silly or stupid to make you laugh and see the humorous side of any situation.

When choosing a poster to motivate a group of people or to hang in an office where others are often around, you want to carefully consider the poster you select. Many offices have policies against displaying offensive material, and what one person considers harmless is sometimes very offensive to another person. If you are in doubt, it doesn't hurt to consult a manager or the employee handbook to determine if a particular poster may be over the line.

Successful people are able to identify and express what they want, and then define specific steps necessary to fulfill their goals. Each decision they make is weighed against how it will help the person achieve the goals they set for themselves. Motivational posters are an excellent way to put your goals in concrete form and keep them in front of you constantly, so that the decisions you make along the way are helping you march toward your important goals. Learn how to find the perfect motivational poster to help you speak those goals out loud to yourself each day.

For more information on how to find the best motivational posters please visit http://www.bestmotivationalposters.com/

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In a very embarrassing moment

Let me begin this by saying that some people this can be considered to be "R" rating, and the other is the "PG". I am leaning more to "PG" mode.

Okay. Prelude, as a result of the "moment".

Many years ago used to drive the conversion van. It was pretty cool. Was in the back, that folded in to bed down on the sofa. Refrigerator. Classy curtains on the Windows. It was an excellent service of people around, as well as camping. I loved it.

No Let a friend borrow it. He had not been used for driving something that was longer than the car, so when he went to a rather sharp Turn make, he half-double, and my second vehicle Jonesia side doors caved. He does not take a very long time friend request because he never offered help to compensate for the damage he caused.

I did not have money to get it, so I went to the impact of trade-economic dilemma, and rehearsed unto them, if so, that can be asked about the work there, on the other hand, is my van lays down, for the paying agencies. This was a privately owned, the owner of the trade, so it was a male, and one of the male technician, who has not worked.

Said they would like to detail some of the customer's cars in exchange for them of my van. Work there for 3 days. This was great!

Apparently, when all was said and done and my van was back to the search, such as new, they loved I made them work, and they offered me the location as full-time detailer. I have accepted. Decent money has been made even got a really good shape too. And I learned a lot.

So here is where it gets interesting ... ....

As I have already told you that I had only two men with female. It was great. We had a very good relationship.

(There was only one of us all) in the bathroom, the port facility, which was in the shop. One day I was in the "the calling", and knew, surely should be able to wait until I got home, so ... ... ....I went to the restroom. Ready for my business and went to flush TOILETS.

Rut In Romania In The Toilet. Is it clear to the bottom of the evidence. I did not know what to do. The water was at the top of the Bowl. I knew without a doubt, that if it went and told them that the TOILET Is flushed, that at least one, if not both of them, in line with what the problem was. They pick up the toilet seat, and, lo and behold, not my evidence. It was the only way, embarrassing for me even to think, so had to find out what heck I was going to do not to save face.

From the saddle there's nothing better at the moment, when it came to me. This is my solution. Outside the bathroom was small window, so I decided to proof of the pitch out the window. I know that you are probably thinking about "Oh!" how gross Believe now. I would be a fan of it either but I do this, as these two guys so personally are exposed. I compiled a toilet paper, is reached, the evidence and threw it out the window was received. I closed the window to put the toilet seat down, washed my hands and out of a trade I went.

I said to the guys that had a problem with their sewer lines, such as the TOILET Is flushed. Make sure that enough they both had to go to see what the problem was. Phew! I wiped my brow, and gave thanks for knowing that the embarrassment I was spared of calls about now that the "evidence" was absent. Because the shop was quite small, I have to say, when they came outside to see if it is required to go in the water and sewage pipes were or septic system owner. So they both proceeded to go outside. (I Swear. These two were attached to the hip). About 10 minutes later they came back to a trade. They both looked in my direction, put their heads and started laughing, then they both went to the Office, where they remained good for a long time.

Ya you wanna know why they were laughing?

Picture of it in the middle of the winter was this. Bldg., next to where is the bathroom, the land of the old hay field. Is a very driven, ever in the winter, and all you see are those fields of dead leaves sticking from the ground? Well, it's what appeared to be a field. These leaves now, however, had their ornamentation. You can see, was now a fresh wet toilet paper through these leaves now draping. And here is my question to you. Do you want to know what hot s--t is not in the cold? It steams. My screen was very hard to Ignore as I threw it right where was septic-tank and to the right if both of these guys went to. I was dead, my songs! I was hoping to avoid being embarrassed person had.

Friends for quite some time, the Agency remained I'm sure that to riot control at the expense of my laughing. And all of the afternoon was described in detail in the car have been kept. Who owns the car sure appreciate how his car looked new when it was done. He gave me a $20-Tip!

P.s. and my Tip to you. I think (which is true) story moral: If you are trying to be deceptive, whether in the case of my personal life or business, it will come back and bite you butt. Do not try to cover your life or your business matters, because once said, you will lose credibility. So do not enter the s--t Get on the road. Just keep flushing until it goes away and always come out clean on the other side. Oops!! I gotta run. Something is calling me. .. ...

Free to email me with questions or comments: 22debrahill@gmail.com

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Clothes Make The Woman

Men and women are doing more things the same in our society these days. However, there is still a big difference in their attitudes toward clothes and the way they dress. You never know what a woman is going to wear. You always have a good idea what a man is going to wear.

On any given day a jock man will have on a baseball cap, a football jersey, a pair of jeans, and some kind of designer gym shoes like Air Jordan's. A business man will wear a double breasted Edwardian suite, with a matching tie that sports a diamond stickpin. He'll have a handkerchief in his suite coat pocket, and he'll sport a pair of highly polished Edwin Clapp Alligator shoes.

You could safely say that clothes make the man. I mean, you can know a man by the clothes he wears. I mean if you saw a man walking down the street with his pants hanging off his behind and his underwear showing, you'd be right in saying there goes a punk, a thug, a gangbanger. With women, things are always different.

Today, clothes don't make a woman. I'd say it's the lack of clothes that make a woman.

Take for example "Boy Shorts". You've seen them. Boy Shorts are those short shorts some women wear that barely cover their backsides. I just love them. Any woman that wears Boy Shorts in public is bound to get attention. Boy Shorts are just the kind of lack of clothing that for me, make a real woman. Boy Shorts are for the outgoing, aggressive woman who is not afraid to let the world take a long look at her as she's walking away.

Then, there's the Thong.

Thongs are clothing for shy women. Thongs are for women who can't make up their minds about whether or not they should wear traditional underwear. Shy women, who can't bring themselves to wear Boy Shorts in public, wear Thongs in private. I bought my girl friend a pair of Boy Shorts. She refused to wear them. I got her a Thong, and she was happy to parade around the house in her hot pink Thongs for me.

Women. You can't figure them out.

Have you ever noticed how many panties women have? Women have much more panties than men have underwear.

I have three pair of underwear that I change during a week. Don't get me wrong. I don't come in contact with a lot of women's panties but I do read the ads in the Sunday paper like everyone else, and I'm amazed at the variety of panties women have to choose from. It's no wonder it takes a woman longer to dress than for the average man. A woman can take up to two hours to decide which panties to take out of her drawer. I could have my underwear, shirt and pants on in ten minutes.

Here's the thing that confuses me about women.

Why is it that women nowadays will spend a fortune on clothes that are designed to cover them up from head to toe?

When a woman comes out of the house she knows she's going to put on a blouse that shows gaping amounts of succulent cleavage. She knows she's going to wear a mini skirt so short, that she can't afford to bend over without exposing her family jewel. She knows she's going to sport a pair of Boy Shorts that will expose the corpulent beauty of her backside.

A women knows all of this right? So why don't women cut their clothing budgets in half? Just come out the house half naked and give me the money she saves on clothing so I can spend most of my working day under a cold shower?

Ronald Ayers is a freelance writer. Mr. Ayers is also the publisher and editor of the Aegis Chronicle News Magazine: http://aegisbiz.org/chronicle.

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Are You A Huge Fan Of Over The Top Complex Riddles

Some riddles can drive you crazy thinking about their answers. You have to wonder who ever came up with the idea of creating them in the first place. It had to be somebody that was into torture of some kind, because unless you have heard the answer before, more than likely you will never be able to guess it yourself.

Of course there are hard riddles, and easy riddles, but for most people, discovering the answer for an easy one, can be just as difficult as a hard one. The more you think about these kinds of brain teasers, the more you begin to ask yourself, who sits down for hours on end to come up with one.

Are these people bored out of their minds, or do they just have a special knack for developing them? We will probably never know the answer to that one however. Today there are riddles for every age group that you can think of.

Some of the riddles that have been created for children can actually help them with their problem solving and deductive reasoning skills. It forces them to think deeply about a subject, and try to understand every little detail that is being mentioned within the riddle.

Most of us will remember our elementary school teachers asking the class various types of riddles. If so, you should also remember some of your classmates just screaming out all kinds of answers, until one of them finally came up with the correct one.

When you do at long last get the hang of discovering some riddle answers, it does feel very good, especially if it was one of those tricky riddles. If you happen to find yourself going to the websites that have these kinds of mind games, just to see if you can finally get one answer right without having to read it first, please do not be surprised if you become addicted to them.

The internet is a fantastic place for discovering all kinds of information and things about yourself that you did not know previously. This is the precise reason that riddle websites are so popular. There are many people that love to challenge themselves, in ways most of us cannot understand.

Why do they want to do this, nobody has an answer for. But, they love sitting down for hours on end, reading riddle after riddle, trying to come up with just one correct answer. Then there are also the other kinds of people that want to learn how to create their own riddles. These types of people need to do as much research as possible, and learn all that they can about this subject.

Whatever the reason is that so many people love going to website after website reading and trying to answer different riddles, they are extremely popular and more of them are being developed each and every day. If you have never been to one, well you do not know what you are missing out on, so why not check one of them out soon?

Are the Riddles you're used to solving a little too easy for you? If so, I suggest you check out our newer and harder Riddle List online at iRiddles.org, where they are much harder.

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How to become a successful Christian-comedian

First started, that I am and I am living in the Christian life, so I will tell you what comedian I have done and I have to do to be successful, what to do. Christian comedy flooded the world is becoming more and more to try to tell a funny jokes, clean Christian audience with the users. The truth is told, this is not an easy task, because not many people know the business Christian comedy about.

At first glance the Word Christian comedy a lot of people assume they are to be consulted about the Bible Scriptures and all the time, but beg differ from churchy jokes. Christian comedian than I have experienced some of the things that are not quite as funny as I did not get beyond it, in the case of a comedian. Many of the venues to book for me, because he thought I was going to come and preach the sermon, but I had to prepare a presentation and put it on the DVD in such a way as is likely to give them to see I was going to do not display.

So you must ensure you know what the crowd, you are trying to appeal to. My goal was never to crowd who wanted to hear a familiar material, drugs, sex and violence, because it was so much more to talk about the appeal. I am now continue notifying you to start a successful career in business of comedy Christian.

Step 1) Know your audience

-In the comedy business activity shall be the target user group that you want to appeal to. This is important, because writing comedy materials has to know what people would like to hear and what they can remember the most about you. Comedians write years and years before they finally complete with a set of people a lot of other then.

Step 2) consistency with the

-One of the most important things is consistent. In any of the dream is for the sake of consistency, to make things happen. If you make only one Show a year, it is difficult to complete their own boats, so you must stay on stage and continues to write a joke and material. You have the more people see you understand, the more they will remember your face and your own material to stay consistent.

Step 3) Networking

-The network is very important to the comedy Business, because it is not about how many of the jokes, you can write to tell us or the number of minutes to run. It is about the people you know and who knows you! Many of the comedians to use each other's work, which is a good thing, because one person does not know all. You can keep comedians like friends, who believe in, around, keeping the network of the club directors, the directors of the Group of the Church and out-of-contact list.

Step 4) in the case of a positive people and to develop a thick around the residence of the skin

-You must keep abreast of positive people around, can become successful at anything in particular, the comedy, because people will kill your before you even start. Many people wish they could have enough brave stand and tell jokes, but since it does not work, they try to tear down and you can like, they wait. If you get the right people around they will encourage you to, and even helps you by providing the story line, or maybe even a joke or two to the stage. Do not enter a critical stage in the comments, you can at all.

Step 5) to sell products

Finally, you must have products for sale to the public. These items should be composed of, but is not limited to CD, DVD, PC, T-shirts, hats, and anything else that does not cost you in the preparation of a money. Your goal should not be to make a huge profit, but it may not be placed on your face in the eyes of the audience. Many of the comedians learned in this way, the business costs, and it works, many of them. Take a unique concepts, marketing and advertising is a comedian, which remains the expenditure.

If you follow these few steps that I have the list you can have a very successful trip, becoming Christian-comedian.

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In The Beginning There Were Snow Shovels

This is the tale of two boys. We call it a tale because as boys, there is the truth, stretching of the truth, and just a little fiction to add flavor. We are brothers Bob and Jim, whose birthday is the same day, exactly one year apart.

Our story begins at an age we can barely remember, but do, because of Newton's Third Law which preceded most of our antics. In fact, most of our vivid memories are based on the aftermath of our actions always causing an equal and opposite reaction.

We have a very large family which eventually grew to ten children peppered with a wide array of uncles, and aunts. Christmas, a time of joyous celebration was eagerly awaited by us all. Even at the young age of 4 and 5, we already knew what our presents held. We figured out how to sneak a peek and it was so successful a ploy, we used for years. We will not however, disclose our secret procedure here because we are still trying to decide if we want to file for a patent.

The hardest part of knowing what we got for Christmas was having to act surprised when we opened our presents. Yes, we were that good; nobody suspected the genius and mischief behind those innocent eyes. Today, and due to popular belief, or disbelief, within the family, we vehemently defend our genius.

This Christmas, we were old enough to get snow shovels, parents are not always as incompetent as we like to believe, why not shovels? Living in the cold, snowy north, we got a lot of snow, and this year was no exception. Looking back on those snow shovels, we figure we really got the worst of the deal because if we shoveled the snow, under the guise of fun, the adults could sit back and laugh at the two young idiots doing all their shoveling.

A scam that would not be forgotten by us and one that would carry over to future generations.

Shoveling snow however, turned out to be a short-lived adventure. We were, from the beginning very competitive. At this young age you would have thought we would simply throw a few shovels of snow, get bored and quit.

Not us, we divided the sidewalk in half. As the oldest, I got the biggest half. At 5 years, neither of us knew, especially Jim, what a bigger half was, but as a visionary, I had a pretty good Idea.

It was cold, but it was not snowing. If we remember correctly, and we do, since there is no one to dispute our recollection, there was about 4" of snow on the sidewalk.

We received several gifts besides those snow shovels, but neither of us can remember any of them. We probably would not even remember those silly little shovels if it had not been for little brother's violation of our terms of agreement pertaining to what was his and what was my half of the sidewalk.

Granted, if was both a verbal and visual agreement, but an agreement none the less. In our early years, I was the meticulous brother; Jim was the one who charged full boat into just about anything he did. We would experience a shift in this behavior, as we grew older. Anyway, we got all bundled up in our coats, boots, scarves, and hats; then headed out to try out our new snow shovels.

After careful measuring and equal division of the sidewalk area by me, we began to shovel the walk. Remember, Jim was the hurry up and get it done boy, and boy, did he get it done. He finished his half of the sidewalk before I finished about a third of mine. Jim's side was haphazardly shoveled with splotches of snow everywhere; mine was scrapped clean and shoveled the way a sidewalk should be shoveled.

Now, here is where Jim made his first major mistake in his relationship with me.

Up to now everything was shared equally. There were no disputes either of us can recall occurring prior to this cold winter night. However, now that we think about it, we were very young and since no memory shaking event happened up to this fateful night, we are confident we did not quarrel or fight, but lived in harmony.

When Jim decided to help me shovel my side of the sidewalk, our first ever memory shaking event materialized. It was over fifty-five years ago yet, it was as if it happened yesterday.

As Jim began to shovel on my side, I became furious he violated my sanctuary and was shoveling my side in the same haphazard fashion he had done on his own side, not that it would have made a difference if he had been respectful and meticulous. Without thinking, because if I had thought, I would not have reacted as I did, raising the shovel above my head, I let Jim have a whack on the top of his head. To this day, I swear I never intended to hurt Jim, but only to scare him into returning to his half of the sidewalk. Remembering, for every action, although unknown to me until this night, there is always an equal and opposite reaction, fate was set in motion.

The action of hitting Jim on the head was immediate. Initially, came the blood curdling scream, in this case it was not faked, then came the blood, it was a lot of blood. I thought it was funny and deserved...at first, and have no recollection of Jim disappearing into the house. He moved that quick, only his bloodied body being thrown into the car and raced to the hospital alerted me that Jim was not hurt as bad as I was going to be.

Now, we said we had a lot of family. Unfortunately for me, Jim got the sympathy and I got the wrath of all the relatives producing an equal, or should we say unequal reaction, which turned out in my case to be prophetic, and excessive in relationship to the few stitches Jim received.

When Jim got back, he thought it was funny that I got a licking and had no clue how lucky he was the shovels had been taken away. Jim survived and would develop a trusting, one-sided relationship with me, one-sided because I was always the giver and Jim was always the receiver.

This was the first of many scars Jim would receive throughout his developmental childhood which he attributes to me. On the other hand, I received none. He did, as his actions came to dictate, come to hate Sir Isaac Newton and his law, "for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." At least, as it pertained to me.

No matter what you write, someone will love it.

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21 December 2012: The Day the Earth Dies

The world - as we know it - is going to be destroyed on 21 December 2012.

Take note that I am not saying maybe or it is said or anything like that, I am saying it straight and very clear: The world WILL be destroyed on 21 December 2012.

Doesn't that prove that I am a profit...er, I mean prophet, straight from the portal of er...straight from...wherever prophets come from?

Haha...no, it doesn't. I am NOT a prophet. I am a conspiracy theorist and I call myself Conspiracy Man.

I became Conspiracy Man when the Big Booming Voice suddenly appeared in my head one day and...ere...ok, that is a completely different story. This article is not about that, but about what is going to happen on 21 December 2012.

Let me give you the real facts and not the usual speculation you read on all these other websites.

I, Conspiracy Man (loud echo), is the only one who knows the truth.

People think that only one thing is going to happen on 21 December 2012 that will destroy the world as we know it. That is simply not true. There is basically no single event that can destroy our world. No, sisters and brothers, you have to get up very early in the morning to destroy the whole world. Out earth is one tough cookie.

But...

On 1 December 2012 such a lot of disasters are going to struck earth all at the same time, that we have no chance of survival. No, chance at all. When all those disasters strike at the same time, namely 10:00 on 21 December 2012, the earth will crack like an egg.

OK, some of us will survive, because some of us - namely me, Conspiracy Man (loud echo),- is building a titanium underground hiding place, where I am going to sit out the cataclysm while drinking Coke and playing Need For Speed on my Xbox 360. (And by the way, watching and laughing at people who are laughing and scoffing at articles like this, through my video-wall, built into my titanium underground hiding place.)

Others will survive, because they will be safe in giant arks - being built in the Himalayas by the Chinese even as you read this - when disaster struck. For you who now want to rush to get their names on the list, hold on; you are going to need to pay one billion euros up front before your name will be listed. (By the way, this was not stolen from the plot of the movie 2012. 2012 was made to portray the real building of the giant arks in the Himalayas, so that any conspiracy theorist who writes about it, will be called a fool, because people will say it comes from the plot of a movie. Can you see how clever the Illuminati is?)

After these disasters about 8 percent of the world's population will be left alive. We will have to rebuild the world from less than scratch.

Not a pretty picture...not a pretty picture at all...

I have done a lot of studying and collecting of information about the 2012 cataclysm:

I laid my sticky fingers on highly classified, secret photos that the powers ruling this world don't want you to see.

Why is 2012 going to happen?

Who predicted 2012 the first time and how did they know it to be true?

What exactly is going to happen on 21 December 2012? It is more than one disaster, but what exactly are those disasters?

Is there anything you can do to protect yourself and your loved ones on that faithful day?

How is the current recession connected to 21 December 2012?

How is the current crisis in the Middle East and in other Arabic speaking nations connected to 21 December 2012?

Why is Muamar Gadhafi a key figure in the 21 December 2012 cataclysm? Just think about it for a second, he has always been living in a tent, no matter where he went. I have found out why.

Watch this space as the clock keeps on ticking...

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Funny Jokes: Helping To Boost Spirits And Keep People Happy And Healthy For Thousands Of Years!

AppId is over the quota AppId is over the quota

Jokes or joke-telling has likely been around since the day humankind could first speak a coherent sentence! And even before then, jokes in the version of pantomime or physical tricks/play no doubt existed.

Joking is a version of play, which all mammals do. Play keeps relevant tissues supple and tuned-up (as can be demonstrated by a dog playing fetch or a cat batting at a toy mouse). With this in mind, it could be debated that verbal or written jokes are one of the human brain's methods for staying supple. A good comedian needs to be intelligent-come on, how many original and great jokes have you heard from people with IQs less than the national average? Comedy also requires wit and timing, both which require smarts. So with all this in mind, perhaps joke-telling is indeed the human brain's way of staying fit.

Having a good sense of humor can also elevate one's social standing. A good sense of humor can make a fair-looking person much more attractive to the opposite gender (think about it-how often do you see humor being high on a person's potential-mate checklist?), and a funny girl or guy tends to be a much more popular, valued person amongst a group of friends. A funny person can connect people in a common way-who amongst you hasn't laughed harder at jokes that ring true for your personal struggles and daily actions? Not only does a comedian bring people closer by tying them through common bonds using humor, but such a person also has the benefit of making those around him or her much happier and easygoing due to stress relief.

And yes, jokes also relieve tension and stress-how many times have you felt so much worse after a good, deep belly laugh? Likely never! "Laughter is the best medicine" is an often-used phrase, and it is true. While no doctor would ever write down a prescription for humorous movies or websites, a good laugh does tone down the level of stress hormones in your body. These hormones have a negative impact on health, and if you have anything from a cold to cancer, stress certainly does not help you overcome these diseases. And your body recognizes the benefits, too! You have no doubt watched a funny movie while feeling under the weather, tired or stressed out at some point in your life. You instinctively recognize the benefits of a good laugh, and you wisely follow through!

To get your fix of funny quotes and sayings please visit this link!

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Anybody Can Solve Easy Riddles - It's The Real Brain Teasers That Drive You Crazy

If you have a little free time, and want to use it to challenge yourself in order to keep your brain sharp, you might want to think about trying to solve riddles. If you do decide to accept the offer, then it would be best to start by trying to come up with the answers for easy riddles first. Then after you get the hang of it, move on to the real tough ones, which are called brain teasers.

When you initially start trying to come up with a few riddle answers, you are going to quickly discover it is much more difficult than you could have ever possibly imagined. The experts that specialize in this highly engaging activity, have spent many years honing and perfecting their craft, which is precisely why they are so good at it.

What the specialist have done, is refine a technique that provides them the ability to methodically and systematically break down a riddle to its most rudimentary level. Once this is accomplished, they then go and put it all back together again, in an attempt to help them come up with the correct answer.

If the above sounds like it is just a little bit too complicated, it is really not, you will just have to follow some of the steps mentioned below. First, you will need to teach yourself how to read riddles correctly. If you can never learn how to properly read riddles, there is no chance of you ever being able to consistently figure out the answers to them.

When you read a riddle, you have to slow down considerably, and fully concentrate on each and every word in the sentence. Next, you need to realize that almost every word used in a riddle, could have been replaced with another word, but wasn't. The second step is to come up with your own replacement words, and ask yourself why the writer used the word they chose, instead of another word. Once you are able to come up with the answer to that question quickly and efficiently, you will be truly close to becoming a great riddle solver.

After you are doing pretty well getting the answers to the easy ones, it will be time to up your game, and start working on the hard riddles. When you do this however, you will quickly come to realize that you are not quite as good at this as you thought you were. Of course, they will be much more challenging, and force you to think quite a bit deeper about the writer's intention than anything else you have considered in your entire life.

The only thing almost as hard as the brain teasers, are called tricky riddles. They are very difficult, and it will more than likely take you some time until you to fully understand how to solve them quickly. So, remember to start with easy riddles first, then gradually begin to work your way up the ladder, until you get to the top of it.

Are the Riddles you're used to solving a little too easy for you? If so, I suggest you check out our newer and harder Riddle List online at iRiddles.org, where they are much harder.

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