Clothes Make The Woman

Men and women are doing more things the same in our society these days. However, there is still a big difference in their attitudes toward clothes and the way they dress. You never know what a woman is going to wear. You always have a good idea what a man is going to wear.

On any given day a jock man will have on a baseball cap, a football jersey, a pair of jeans, and some kind of designer gym shoes like Air Jordan's. A business man will wear a double breasted Edwardian suite, with a matching tie that sports a diamond stickpin. He'll have a handkerchief in his suite coat pocket, and he'll sport a pair of highly polished Edwin Clapp Alligator shoes.

You could safely say that clothes make the man. I mean, you can know a man by the clothes he wears. I mean if you saw a man walking down the street with his pants hanging off his behind and his underwear showing, you'd be right in saying there goes a punk, a thug, a gangbanger. With women, things are always different.

Today, clothes don't make a woman. I'd say it's the lack of clothes that make a woman.

Take for example "Boy Shorts". You've seen them. Boy Shorts are those short shorts some women wear that barely cover their backsides. I just love them. Any woman that wears Boy Shorts in public is bound to get attention. Boy Shorts are just the kind of lack of clothing that for me, make a real woman. Boy Shorts are for the outgoing, aggressive woman who is not afraid to let the world take a long look at her as she's walking away.

Then, there's the Thong.

Thongs are clothing for shy women. Thongs are for women who can't make up their minds about whether or not they should wear traditional underwear. Shy women, who can't bring themselves to wear Boy Shorts in public, wear Thongs in private. I bought my girl friend a pair of Boy Shorts. She refused to wear them. I got her a Thong, and she was happy to parade around the house in her hot pink Thongs for me.

Women. You can't figure them out.

Have you ever noticed how many panties women have? Women have much more panties than men have underwear.

I have three pair of underwear that I change during a week. Don't get me wrong. I don't come in contact with a lot of women's panties but I do read the ads in the Sunday paper like everyone else, and I'm amazed at the variety of panties women have to choose from. It's no wonder it takes a woman longer to dress than for the average man. A woman can take up to two hours to decide which panties to take out of her drawer. I could have my underwear, shirt and pants on in ten minutes.

Here's the thing that confuses me about women.

Why is it that women nowadays will spend a fortune on clothes that are designed to cover them up from head to toe?

When a woman comes out of the house she knows she's going to put on a blouse that shows gaping amounts of succulent cleavage. She knows she's going to wear a mini skirt so short, that she can't afford to bend over without exposing her family jewel. She knows she's going to sport a pair of Boy Shorts that will expose the corpulent beauty of her backside.

A women knows all of this right? So why don't women cut their clothing budgets in half? Just come out the house half naked and give me the money she saves on clothing so I can spend most of my working day under a cold shower?

Ronald Ayers is a freelance writer. Mr. Ayers is also the publisher and editor of the Aegis Chronicle News Magazine: http://aegisbiz.org/chronicle.

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