Thank (God) For Godless Holidays

The Community Made The Heavens And The EarthNow that the holidays are over, we can get back to the business of America. And thank God - no, strike that, thank the "community" - we have a president who understands what the business of America is (crony socialism, of course!).
But for a while there, between Thanksgiving and New Year's, the president had to contend with a bunch of "bitter clingers" in the U.S. who insist upon clinging to this romantic notion of an all-powerful being who (these rednecks claim) is the "reason for the season." Mr. Obama, though, schooled in places like Harvard University and Trinity Church in Chicago, knows better.
To hear the president tell it, we have the community (whatever that is) to thank for our very existence, not some mythical god. The whole Jesus thing makes for good commercialism, to be sure, and Obama does need a strong shopping season to bolster the perception of his economic policies. But this president is far more likely to deliver an appropriate address on the occasion of Muslim holidays than on those celebrated by the bitter clingers. I guess maybe he still needs that Middle East oil, too, while he continues to strive tirelessly to get us off the addiction with which we were hooked by George W. Bush.
Maybe God was not some all-powerful being, but a government worker in the creative department of the Bureau of Planetary Establishment. Over the centuries, the clingers have developed this whole mythology around His heroism, but really, he probably just created the Heavens and the Earth as part of a universal recovery and reinvestment act pushed-through by the ancient Demediacrats. Not only is there nothing special about America, the whole planet is probably just a standard-issue carbon-based habitat, created by a committee (community?) of which God was simply a GS-14 member.
And Christmas? Just His attempt to get His kid a job at the Bureau.
Oh, well, no matter. The important thing is that we spend lots of money during December, and then vote the way they tell us in November. Meanwhile, Mr. Obama's off to play golf in Hawaii. His wife and kids (who couldn't even take the same plane, possibly because it wouldn't cost us enough money if they waited a day or two to do that) are there too, hopefully exchanging lots of nice holiday presents. Beats having to hang around and listen to all these bitter clingers and their sentimental hogwash! One more term, the president probably figures, and he can finally get all the Christ out of Christmas, once and for all.
By the way, please, don't tell the Demediacrats that "holiday" really means "Holy Day." Once they ban that word, what in the world will we call Christmas? Community Day? Don't give 'em any ideas.
by Michael D. Hume, M.S.
Michael Hume is a speaker, writer, and consultant specializing in helping people maximize their potential and enjoy inspiring lives. As part of his inspirational leadership mission, he coaches executives and leaders in growing their personal sense of well-being through wealth creation and management, along with personal vitality.
Michael and his wife, Kathryn, divide their time between homes in California and Colorado. They are very proud of their offspring, who grew up to include a homemaker, a rock star, a service talent, and a television expert. Two grandchildren also warm their hearts! Visit Michael's web site at http://michaelhume.net/

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